From the Depths of Debts
So here is the thing. For the last 19 years I was battling with dept. Three years ago I finally found the strength and the support of an organisation which helped me with a plan and the organisation to pay of that pile of money I owed.
All these years I got the strongest support from partners and friends and family and I’m really thankful for that. But I have to admit, that since getting the notification that we’re finished paying of after three years of a tight budget, it just occurred to me what kind of existential burden this was to me and those around me… and what a relief this is now.
I guess it is kind of a coping mechanism to not occupy yourself to much with it. Otherwise the sheer weight of it might bring you to a halt. Dept is a crippling thing. You ought to work, you ought to pay of. You ought to behave or else you’ll be put in existential jeopardy. Even now I still believe it was solely my fault. It was kind of the thing that defined me or my freedom of expression, even if it wasn’t really visible.
I was dependent on social welfare for a while. Which was actually one of the better experiences. I had the change to meet people and do things that I wouldn’t otherwise. My work Liturgy for Electronic Waste kind of grew out of that.
But after all, I was extremely lucky - not only to get the right kind of support, but also to have been born in colour and shape that enabled my financial trajectory to become better. It wasn’t easy, but I weep at the though of all those who are without even the slightest possibility to get a stable self-deciding position just because they’re born in the “wrong“ body, culture or class.
A person in financial Debts is a chained person - a society chained in Debts is stalled from living its potentiality.
<3 much love to everybody who walked with me in this